Sorry I was late. Blame Naked Jesus
June 8th, 2010
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On Sunday I was driving on I-95 around Fairfield, CT. There was a big of a traffic jam that seemed to go on for miles. I never got to the end of it, because I got off the highway first. It’s not terribly uncommon for their to be traffic jams on I-95.
But now I know what caused this one.
Naked man claiming he’s Jesus causes five-car pileup on Interstate 95 in Connecticut
A naked man “yelling that he was Jesus” triggered a multi-car accident Saturday morning on Interstate 95 in Norwalk, Conn.
Officers responded early Saturday morning to a call regarding a disturbance on I-95 northbound near exit 14 in Darien, according to NBC Connecticut.
When the officers got to the scene, the naked man — whose name was not released — drove away in a silver car. Local authorities and State Police began to give chase, and they pulled the man over near exit 16.
After the police pulled the man over, another driver stopped short to watch the scene unfold, causing a tractor-trailer to hit the brakes and jackknife. The truck hit several other cars and flipped before stopping by a tree, NBC Connecticut reports.
A rescue team was able to extricate the truck driver, who was trapped in the cab of the truck.
The truck driver suffered injuries as a result of the crash, the extent of which were unknown. However, he was conscious and speaking with paramedics, according to NBC Connecticut. Two others were injured in the accident, but the extent of their injuries was also unknown.
The accident completely closed I-95 between exits 14 and 16 for approximately six hours. All lanes of traffic had reopened by noon.
Six hours of closed lanes caused the traffic to back up (in both directions apparently) for a very long distance, most of the shoreline of Connecticut and into New York being effected. When the lanes finally opened six hours later, it took some time for the traffic to resume its normal flow. I-95 is a major artery of the Northeastern US. It is the primary link between the New York City area and Providence, Boston and much of New England.
It should be pretty obvious what happened here: this is the second coming of Christ, and just like in the terminator movies, he arrives naked.
This entry was posted on Tuesday, June 8th, 2010 at 11:57 am and is filed under Misc, personal, religion. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.
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June 8th, 2010 at 1:45 pm
Christ needs a rubber room, no question, but the clown that stopped so fast that a truck jackknifed needs a cement cell for a few months for shear stupidity.
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June 8th, 2010 at 2:03 pm
Sounds like an escapee from the local mental hospital. Move along, nothin’ to see here….
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June 8th, 2010 at 5:10 pm
The lesson in this story is don’t slow down to gawk/rubberneck at police cars (or accidents, or emergency vehicles, etc) because it might cause an accident.
Seriously, am I the only one who finds it seriously annoying when traffic suddenly and unexpectedly slows down, for no discernible reason other than people are gawking at something unusual?
Don’t blame Naked Jesus, it was the driver who stopped short to watch him being arrested that caused the accident.
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June 8th, 2010 at 9:33 pm
Really? Is that what Jesus would do? Jesus would hop in his car and scram when the cops show up?
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June 8th, 2010 at 9:36 pm
Vijay, pants.
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June 9th, 2010 at 12:08 am
Brian-M said:
Yeah in reality this isn’t jut limited to naked Jesus. It could have been a more mundane arrest or a traffic stop or an accident. Slowing down to see it is an annoyance, but this guy didn’t just slow down, he slammed the brakes!
However, I’ll admit I’ve slowed down a little if something really amazing was happening, like a massive tire fire in a junkyard or a naked lady. One thing that really bothers me is the supid rubbernecking and curiosity delays when there’s not even anything to see. Oh, everyone’s slowing down for a fender bender? Whoopty freakin do. I had my hopes all up that it’d be a naked lady and now this!
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June 9th, 2010 at 12:33 am
A friend of mine held to his theory that the cause of every freeway jam is a blue haired lady in a Buick going 5 mph and weaving across all lanes of traffic.
I find it terribly maddening when you realize that the only cause of a snarl is that everyone is slowing down to have a look at a stalled car on the other side of the barrier. And it’s especially irksome, because in heavy traffic that selfish little bit of behavior can have an effect that lasts long after the car is cleared away.
And don’t get me started on merging.
And why is it that often the left lane grinds to a halt while the others crawl by? Having the fewest points of conflict it should have the least impediment to flow.
And why can’t I have a dedicated lane straight to my house?
It’s got to be the Lizard People. The more time I spend battling traffic, the less time I have to spend contemplating their conspiracies. If I could just find the one thread that ties them together…
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June 9th, 2010 at 1:23 am
Shafe said:
You mean like AIDS? Which was developed in a film studio by Neil Armstrong (he was waiting for Lord Lucan to arrive and set it up to look like the surface of the moon) for the Lizard people and released via Lee Harvey Oswald and the other gunmen who shot JFK to silence them and kill black people. And gay people. And prolific heterosexual sinners.
Apparently it’s all a massive scheme by Big Pharma to make us buy genetically modified (and irradiated) foods which will slowly reduce our IQs until we’re just mindless slaves.
How did I do?
On topic: Crazy people are crazy. Normal people can occasionally be or become crazy. Life goes on, but sometimes it goes on very slowly.
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June 10th, 2010 at 3:11 pm
WWNJD
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June 18th, 2010 at 12:34 am
Jesus is coming. Swallow.
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