2010 has barely started, and I thought this would be a great time for me to prove once and for all that I am a psychic, a seer, a prophet or whatever else you care to call it. I am issuing some of my psychic predictions for the remainder of the year. I stand behind all of these, as they were given to me through a gift from god. That said, I do not claim 100% accuracy.
It is possible that a couple of these may be wrong, but the overwhelming majority will be right. If not the majority, than, well, uh, at least some, but we will focus on the ones that I got right, and that’s all the proof you should need!
I anticipate my success rate will meet or exceed that of the best and most famous psychics and seers!
(note: for those not directly familiar with this page, this is posted in a sarcastic and tongue-in-cheek manner. I don’t actually believe I’m psychic or even that psychics exist, however I do stand by my claim that many of these will prove uncanny in their accuracy.)
- A major celebrity will die unexpectedly and at a relatively young age. The initial cause of death will be listed as something ambiguous and natural, such as “heart failure,” however they will be of an age at which dying unexpectedly due to heart disease is extremely uncommon. It will later come out that this celebrity had been a heavy user of illegal drugs, prescription drugs or both and that these contributed to their death.
- A natural disaster involving loss of life and major regional disruption will occur on the Asian continent.
- There will be wildfires in California. It will be reported that they are the worst fires in years or decades for some of the localities effected.
- There will be a flood in the city by the river.
- North Korea will preform a high profile technical test (possibly a nuclear test or a missile test or test of some new system related to defense.) This will spark unrest in Japan and South Korea. Leaders of major countries around the world will condemn the events and characterize them as aggressive. US President Barrack Obama will condemn the actions of North Korea and vow that the US will take action. He will then do absolutely nothing about it.
Furthermore, the test will be characterized by analysts from Japan, South Korea and Western countries as being either a failure, a partial success, or a success but of only modest and relatively unsophisticated capabilities. However, North Korea will insist it was a resounding success and that their capabilities far exceed the estimates of everyone else.
- A relatively talentless yet physically attractive female starlet (such as Britney Spears, Paris Hilton, Lindsay Lohan, the Olsen Twins) will get in trouble with the law.
- A relatively talentless attractive female starlet will exit a vehicle or get up from sitting while wearing a skirt without underwear. The picture will become iconic on the internet.
- A scientific study will be released which investigates the supposed therapeutic benefits of consuming a vital nutritive at doses far beyond what is normally considered to be the necessary uptake. It will track people with a given condition, such as cancer or heart disease who receive high doses of this nutrient and find that there is no evidence that it does much of anything. However, those who have been promoting it will insist more research needs to be done.
- There will be reports that the numbers on the economy are sending “mixed signals” or that they’re ambiguous, with some indicating a potential recovery, if only a minor one, but others not reflecting one.
- In incident in Europe will cause Muslims around the world to take great offense. There will be protests in the middle east calling for death to those involved in the insulting incident.
- There will be “turmoil in the Middle East”
- During the summer, the Southwestern US will experience shortages and near shortages of power which will force load shedding, brownouts and possibly blackouts. Things will be worst in the areas of Western and Northern Texas. This will lead to demands for more wind turbines being installed and for more power lines be built to wind farms. Many will be bewildered by the fact that their power is becoming more expensive and less reliable even though there are more wind turbines than ever.
- The Hubble Space telescope will produce a photograph which shows celestial structures in an unprecedented amount of detail. It will also look really really cool.
- Parts of Australia will experience a drought.
- A nuclear power plant in the US or Europe will experience a relatively minor problem that is not nuclear-related, such as a transformer fire, a steam leak or a problem with one of the turbines. This will be held up as proof that nuclear power is dangerous and the profit-greedy companies are gambling with lives and using extremely dangerous reactors. Upon closer examination, it will be discovered that these are actually lies and the incident never really put anyone in even the slightest danger.
- An unmanned scientific spacecraft will fail or will experience a mission termination earlier than anticipated.
- There will be a suicide bombing somewhere in the South Asia-Oceana region. (Malaysia, Indonesia, Cambodia, Laos, Papua New Guinea, Thialand etc)
- There will be no fatal crashes of large passenger jet aircraft in North America, Western Europe or Australia.
- The safety of a drug or medical product will be called into question. Scientific data will prove either inconclusive or indicate a very small increase in risk of developing a condition due to use of the product. Despite conflicting and limited data to indicate any risk at all, law firms will actively seek out patients who received the product and invite them to sue the company that produces it.
- There will be a political scandal involving a governor of a US state.
- Multiple first world countries will see minor to moderate outbreaks of vaccine-preventable infectious diseases which will break records for the number of cases seen since the 1980′s or earlier.
- A country in Africa will experience a civil war.
- A European country will pass an ordinance, either by legislature or a direct popular vote, which will ban or severely restrict one or more cultural practices associated with Islam.
- A young child will die due to his or her parent’s neglect or denial of critical care due to their religious beliefs.
- There will be a moderate earthquake somewhere in the Pacific Rim/East Asia region.
This entry was posted on Friday, January 8th, 2010 at 5:05 pm and is filed under Bad Science, Culture, Obfuscation, Paranormal, religion. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.
View blog reactions