Detox that actually works…
August 21st, 2010
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People seem to forget that there’s actually an easy way to rid your body of toxic substances, metabolic byproducts, pharmaceuticals and other substances. Foot pad and, herbal remedies and even enemas all claim to do the trick, but there’s a much easier way to get those substances out of your body and restore balance. It’s all natural too!
I’ve been thinking it’s about time someone made an ad to promote real natural detox.
Best to just flush it when done though. Some quacks actually recommend drinking it (the logic is lost on me, since it’s something your body is trying to get rid of). Don’t do that though. For one thing, it’s just nasty.
This entry was posted on Saturday, August 21st, 2010 at 3:40 pm and is filed under Bad Science, Good Science, Humor, Misc, Quackery. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.
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August 21st, 2010 at 6:07 pm
Wow this sounds great. I’ll start tomorrow.
But being a sketik I will also do some research on this activity to insure that it will not have any adverse effects on my body or I will have to stop doing it. You can never be too safe when starting a new radical change to a life style.
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August 21st, 2010 at 6:46 pm
L.Long said:
Sounds like a good idea, except I’m not quite sure I can wait that long I can already feel the excess water mixed with toxins building up and it won’t be long before I just have to let it out!
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August 21st, 2010 at 8:08 pm
The pineal hormone melatonin and its conjugated esters are present in morning urine in significant quantities, as the pineal gland secrets melatonin maximally at about 2 am, this secretion being shut off by the eyes’ exposure to bright sunlight. Melatonin, when ingested or given intravenously, amongst other effects, provokes tranquillity and heightened visualisation. There are high concentrations of melatonin in the first morning urine, which is the reason some say it is good to drink.
However any advantages to drinking one’s own urine have been difficult to prove due to the obvious experimental difficulties particularly in constructing a double-blind clinical trial. Thus this is a difficult hypothesis to reliably test to any requisite evidence-based standard.
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August 21st, 2010 at 9:15 pm
There are even pills that promote this detox!
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August 21st, 2010 at 10:04 pm
DV82XL said:
Yeah… melatonin… you know they do have that stuff available as a synthetic in tablet form, right?
I take it once in a while and it seems to help with jet lag. I mean, don’t use me as evidence, obviously, because that’s just one person’s totally subjective take on the effectiveness.
Or I guess I could drink urine.. No… I think I’ll stick to the pill form.
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August 21st, 2010 at 11:08 pm
drbuzz0 said:
Of course I wasn’t endorsing urine drinking as a habit anyone should pick up, however the pratice has been part of several Eastern religious disciplines from antiquity on, and I suspect that this was at the root of the observed benefits.
However this only goes to illustrate that valid ancient medications have been reworked by modern pharmacology to refine them into better products, thus taking them into the mainstream. The other advantage being that more people are likely to take a pill, when the need arises, than will imbibe their own pee, thus making the treatment more widely available.
This has been the real fate of traditional medicine: that which was valid moved forward, that which was not, fell to the wayside. This is why we need not make willow-bark tea, when we have a headache, but take an Aspirin. Why anyone would insist that the old ways are better is beyond me.
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August 22nd, 2010 at 12:19 am
I hear this will even eliminate that nasty URANIUM from the body.
Heed the warning on the bottom though, fellas. I can attest to the truth of it. If you stumble into the bathroom to detox in the middle of the night, shake your head and splash water on your face to wake up first, because if you do it half-asleep and some of the toxins end up on the wall and floor, wifey is going to not be happy come morning!
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August 22nd, 2010 at 2:14 am
The real credit to this wondrous bodily function goes to the kidneys, which aren’t being given the honor they deserve in this advertisement. Some people lose the ability to urinate and can get by much easier than if their kidneys were failing or on dialysis. Fortunately, kidney transplants, for those who might need one, are the most successful of any organ transplant. Urination is just the flushing of the detox work the kidney has already done.
I guess the ad wouldn’t have as much appeal if it said “keep your kidneys healthy, these are the detox organs which produce your urine, without them you would die.”
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August 23rd, 2010 at 10:34 am
There’s a second very crucial detox that ought to be advertised alongside. One might even call it the Number Two Detox!
Your kidneys do a great job of flushing *some* toxins out of your body, but not all! Oh no! Another organ, and one which is much harder to replicate artificially, does a lot of it — the liver! Unlike the kidneys, which just pull stuff out, the liver actually chemically alters the toxins, breaking them down and storing them in the gall bladder for disposal. They are dumped into the intestine, where some of them serve a dual purpose and assist in digestion (talk about waste recycling — that’s right, your liver is the original recycling factory!) and the rest are simply mixed with the byproducts of digestion and eliminated naturally from your body several hours later.
That’s right, in addition to urination, you mustn’t forget defecation! (Warning: care must be used in finding a location for this detox procedure, as the odors of all those toxins being removed is considered noxious in polite society. Spouses and guests may prefer you activate a vent fan or light a scented candle, depending on your preference. The scented candle can even double as aromatherapy. Buy the book for only $49.99, get a coupon for a free patent-pending aromatherapy device (refill packets only $15.99) and you too can be detoxing in no time!)
Heck, this might even sell better, given the fascination many in the alternative health movement have with this particular waste product.
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August 23rd, 2010 at 10:44 am
Jason Ribeiro said:
Well, it would not have been as funny.
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August 24th, 2010 at 2:18 am
Russ said:
Here is an idea, you could always sit down!?
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August 24th, 2010 at 7:29 pm
We need to test this one thoroughly. A three-month study should suffice:
I’ll need a hundred volunteers of varying ages, genders, diets, and lifestyles for a urinating group and hundred volunteers for a non-urinating group.
Any takers?
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August 25th, 2010 at 4:10 am
Well… According to the principles of homeopathy, if you dilute it enough, it *should* have the effect of detoxifying your body… Hurf durf herpaderp…
(In the words of James Randi: “shugga shugga shugga”)
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